If you want iPad, use ADE XL - which captures much of this in a UI. Programming languages are by nature flexble - and with flexibility comes (unfortunately) the need to cope with unexpected situations - it's very hard for a general programming language to do the right thing if it has no idea what the right thing should be given that your code could do anything...
And yes I did mean eloquently (well written (yes, strictly it's well spoken, but I thought I'd be free to adapt my own language!)), but "elegantly" fits too.
It really shouldn't be intimidating. Usually the conditions don't have to be complicated. I normally advise people to use things like:
to check if the transient results are present - little idioms like this are easy enough to remember, even for non-programmers (and most engineers should have at least some programming knowledge these days).
Glad they take the OCEAN class (I wrote it!). Surprised it's not used that much though - I tend to find many users who do because of the flexibility it gives them.